We humans tend to give away our power to others. And you may feel you need your Coach, thus you depend on your Coach to get results.
That might not be as bad as it sounds. But it might be even worse.
First, let’s remember what the job of a coach actually is. A coach should be a person helping you find your own answers and solutions.
Of course, a coach is also available to keep you accountable. However, the coach keeps you accountable to what you had decided to do or not to do.
A Coach is a Human too
Now you might have recognized that a coach is a human too. Therefore, a coach may have an opinion about what you need to do or not, what you should do and when.
Well, a good coach will not tell you their point of view. Why? Because the coach is not in your position, thus could not really judge what the best would be for you.
You may wonder what all this has to do with why you should never depend on your coach? As said, a coach could help you find your answers, but a coach is not living your life.
In other words, it’s your responsibility to make the decision or not.
Things that could happen if you depend on your Coach
The worst things that could happen if you would depend on your coach are that you would not do anything anymore without asking your coach.
You might do what the coach suggests, and it might be wrong. Again, it’s your life and your Mind. You decide. Even to follow suggestions blindly.
Also, when you depend on your coach you are more open to manipulation. BTW, we all try to manipulate everyone around us. That’s a normal human behavior. The question always is, is it helping you in any way?
There are better ways to get what you want, than trying to manipulate others. Anyway, let’s get back to why you should never depend on your coach.
As a Business Owner, Manager or Executive, you have to make decisions. You could not ask your Coach all the time. A good coach would even not be willing to give you answers or make suggestions about what you should do in specific situations.
You know what you need to do. Yes, you do. You have all your answers inside of you. A coach could help you to learn the process to dig into your own wisdom and knowledge.
If you would totally depend on your coach, you would give all your power away. In this case, you could hand over your life to the coach. Why would you do that?
You would only do so, when you believe you can’t do something yourself. Which is not true at all. A good coach will make you aware of the fact that you can do what you need to do.
Feeling Validated might make you depend on your coach
And guess what? A good coach will help you to go through rough times, but will never ever take away your power. It’s the other way around, a good coach will encourage you to step up.
Even if a coach is encouraging you, do not depend on your coach. It feels good when others respect us or encourage us to step up.
Yet, it could let into dependency, either. Why? As you may want to feel this nice feeling of being encouraged or validated all the time.
But who has the feeling of validation or encouragement? You do. Though it’s not in the coach, it is in you.
Remember, coaching is not about making you feel good all the time. It has to do with helping you to reflect on yourself. That might even hurt sometimes. Don’t worry, not all the time.
Conclusion
Though, why shouldn’t you depend on your coach? Because you have the answers you are looking for inside of you, and the coach is only helping you find them.
Everything else like feeling not good enough, believing you can’t or wanting to be validated by your coach are ways to get into a dependency with your coach.
You are never depending on your coach. A good coach will always keep an eye on how your relationship is and will tell you when you are trying to depend on the coach.
Read the other part of this post in the members area about How to stay independent of your Coach.
